Fly free, sweet Missy!

Missy, we don't know what went wrong or what exactly happened, but we know you were suffering and so we made the only decision possible.  Yesterday morning, you let the dog visiting us sniff you.  A couple hours later, we found bloody diarrhea and two solid lumps of something on the floor, with a tail trail under your daddy's dresser.  Rori went under to be with you for a little while.  Panther, Dare, and Autumn all said their goodbyes once you decided to come out of hiding, while Mommy cleaned up the floor and also cleaned you up as best she could.  You had tried, but you just didn't have the energy anymore.  Mommy sat with you and told you that it would be ok if you felt the need to leave us.  You were barely hanging on at that point.  Daddy came in and petted you for a while, then called the vet.  Our usual vet was very busy, and we knew this was an emergency, so he called the vet just down the street, too.  They were available, so Daddy put you in the carrier and he and Mommy took you to the vet.

Once there, they took you immediately into the back to stabilize you the best they could.  You were still hanging on, but barely.  The vet and vet techs were so kind to you.  They wrapped you in warm blankets and gave you fluids through an IV.  They tried to take your blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate, but the levels were not perceptible or only just perceptible.  Your heartbeat was a soft flutter.  The vet, Daddy, and Mommy knew what needed to be done, although nobody wanted to say goodbye to you this soon.  Your blood vessels were collapsing in on themselves and the vet thought that there must've been a mass on your intestines that burst.

Mommy went in the back to say goodbye.  Daddy sat and cried and Mommy cried and petted you.  You were barely conscious, and going quickly.  The vet gave you the first shot (anesthetic) and your chin immediately hit your paws.  You didn't really need the second (actual) shot, but the vet  gave it to you just to be sure.  Mommy knew you were gone already.  The vet tried to find your heartbeat but you were gone.

Mommy went to be with Daddy, and they cried for a while.  The vet brought your body in to them, and they brought you home.  Daddy dug a hole while Mommy opened the box for the rest of us to see your body.  We all knew already.  Autumn doesn't really know what death means, though, but she sniffed you and wondered why you were in a box.  She thought it was weird that you didn't respond, so she sniffed you again.  Panther sniffed you, looked you all over, touched noses with Autumn, and left the room.  Mommy brought Tabby out to see.  The others decided not to come over to sniff, because goodbyes had been said already.  Daddy opened the box and lifted your body out gently, petted it, talked to you, then set your body in the hole and covered it with dirt and a cinder block to keep raccoons away.

Your body is buried by the roses in the backyard, where we buried Miss Marble and close to where we buried Carbon.  You always loved flowers.  We will never forget you, our idiosyncratic non-feral feral who knew where to go and what to do when she needed help.  You did the first time we met you, and you did the last time we saw you alive.

Missy was between 8 and 9 years old, as near as we can figure.  She came to us at the age of approximately 2 1/2 years old and was Daddy Scott's constant companion and chief snuggler.  It took her a year to purr for him, but then she didn't stop.  She tried to climb in coat sleeves when she got petted, but would bite if she felt it was too much.  We love you, and we always will.  You are at peace now, Missy, and out of pain.

Fly Free, Carbon!

Carbon, June 8, 2005 to August 17, 2016

Carbon writes:

Today I earned my angel wings.  I'm sad about leaving my family, especially my sister, Tabby, but I'm glad to be feeling whole again in mind and body.

The above picture was taken a few years ago, when I was still feeling well.  Within the last year, I've really been failing.  I lost a lot of weight, my fur on my tail and sides got so matted that I begged Mommy to cut the mats out (which I hated doing) without a struggle.  I yelled for food and followed everyone around for bites of theirs, so Mama Shawnee nicknamed me "Shark".  She trained me to sit on the footstool in the kitchen and wait while she cooked omelettes, then she would give me bites of the egg and meat.

Within the last week, my mind's been failing, too.  I've always been super-smart and alert, but lately I've been not listening, not responding the same way to others and things, and taking a while to realize when I needed to use the litter box.  Well, that last one has been for a few months now, actually, although up until the last few days I would go try if someone said to.

Last night, Mommy came down the hallway to find me being a loaf (normal) with a glazed expression on my face (very not-normal).  She asked me if I was ok, and it took me about a minute to focus enough to look up at her, and then I had a confused expression on my face.  I didn't know how I'd gotten to that spot, why I was there, if I'd been headed somewhere else, or why Mommy was worried!  She asked me if I wanted a hug or a cuddle, and I meowed sadly at her.  My meow changed, too, from what it had been.  I sounded as lost as I felt.

Mommy picked me up and gave me a huge hug, then carried me to a chair and sat down with me on her lap.  She gave me another big hug while some of the other cats gathered around to sniff me.  I tried to tell her that I was ready to go to the Bridge.  The others knew it, too.

Early this morning, Rori ran to get Daddy, meowing her head off.  Daddy didn't know what she was trying to tell him, but she sounded and acted very worried.  Daddy asked Mommy, but she didn't know why, either.  Once she woke up, though, she knew.

I was in my box lid in the dining room, where I loved to hang out and nap, but whenever anyone else approached the food or the water, I ran to them and beat them up.  Then I ran back to my box lid and lay down again.  Tabby was supposed to go on one of her animal-assisted therapy visits, but I beat her up, too, when she tried to eat breakfast.  She was so upset, she ran and asked Mommy what was going on with me.  Then she wouldn't leave the part of the room I was in, choosing to watch over me even though I wouldn't let her snuggle.

Truth be told, I didn't even recognize the other cats as my family today.  All I knew was they were trying to get my food and my water, so I defended what was mine.  I feel very sad about that, and I hope they know I didn't mean it personally.

Daddy and Mommy discussed what to do, but it was more like when, not what.  Mommy called the vet, Mama Shawnee, and Mama Cai, while Daddy called Mama Erin and texted Debbie and Kimila (friends of ours who loved me).  Once the purrents were ready, Mommy tricked me into the carrier bag and zipped me in.  I tried to get out a few times, and ended up sticking my head out while we went out to the car, but Mommy was holding my head.  I actually did better on the car ride than both Daddy and Mommy thought, but especially better than Daddy thought I'd do.  I kept my pee in my body, which is a big thing for me on car rides, and hardly yelled at all.  My purrents petted me while we traveled.

At the vet's, there were a lot of dogs on one side, but the other side was pretty quiet.  Daddy checked me in while I lay in the carrier on the quiet side on Mommy's lap.  Then Daddy held me for a while in the carrier, too.  He reassured me that none of the doggies would come and get me, and told me none of them were Mixx, the one who lived with us until recently.  Mixx lives somewhere else now; long story, and not ours to tell, but not by anyone's choice.

It was going to be 20 minutes for a room if my purrents wanted to be with me when the vet put me to sleep, or they could take me back right away if we didn't need a room.  Daddy can't deal with being in the room emotionally, too sad for him.  Mommy sometimes does and sometimes doesn't.  She felt that it would be best if it were done as soon as possible, so the vet tech took me back.  At 2:15 pm, I went to the Bridge.  They wrapped me in a thin blanket that had been donated for that purpose and put me into a cardboard box, then taped it up and took my body out to my purrents.  Mommy and Daddy both had been crying, and cried more when they got into the car.

At home, Mommy opened the box and took my body out, after uncovering my head and paws.  Autumn wanted to hop in the box, but no one would let her.  Then she saw me in there, and left the box alone.  Daddy let everyone know what had happened, and he and Mommy petted everyone.  My sister sniffed me, nuzzled my ear, sniffed my paws, and slowly walked over to Daddy.  He told her how sorry he was, but that I wasn't coming back, then she walked over to Mommy to the same response.  She slowly walked back, and conferred with Missy about it.  One by one, everyone came to pay their respects.  Sherbet didn't want to come up to my body, and hissed at Mommy when she went over to him to have him smell her hands, so she didn't push the issue.  Starla was carried over to me, sniffed me, conferred with Tabby, then figured it out and ran to the chair.  Daddy carried the twins in from the other room.  Freya kept thinking that I was just sleeping, and came back many times to check on my, thinking I might wake up.  Mommy got Rori, who took the news badly and bolted back down the hallway.

Daddy dug a hole and buried me by the cedar tree in the backyard, by the roses where Miss Marble is buried.  That's the toughest part emotionally for him:  digging the hole and laying the body to rest, then covering it up.  It's so final.  He and Mommy are going to keep the blanket I was wrapped in and use it in the carrier for the others for vet visits and things like that.  They also have a clay double-paw print that I made for them at the vet's, with my name stamped below my paw prints.

I love you all, purrents, friends, sissy, nieces, nephews, and extended furmily!  I'll wait for you here at the Bridge with the other angels.

Love,

    Carbon Cuddlekins/Fluffikins

P.S.  How appropriate that today's Black Cat Appreciation Day!

Saying Goodbye to Grandma

This is one of our favorite pictures of Grandma.  That's who the little girl was in our Wordless Wednesday post this week!  Grandma was Mommy's mommy, and she was living with us for the last 7 months.  She died of cancer on August 8th, so we're very sad about that.  There have been a lot of changes around here lately, things moving around, people coming in and out, meeting new people who are relatives whom we've never seen before, and different schedules.

Our purrents say we're a houseful of therapy cats, which is a good thing!  Having Tabby in our family has taught us all to be mindful of our purrents' emotions and behaviors, so when they first heard the news, we all offered ourselves to be petted and to purr for them.  Grandpa (Mommy's dad, who was divorced from Grandma ages ago) came over and immediately got three lap-sitters!  We've all been extremely snuggly and attentive to Mommy and Daddy and social with other people who have come by to offer help and condolences.

Heimdall was the closest to Grandma, and became her "furry doctor".  He would sneak into her room to do his rounds, walking under the desk, then around to check out underneath the hospital bed, then walk to the far wall and look up at her when she was lying in bed.  Then, most of the time, he'd go under the rocking chair and have to be caught to be taken out of the room.  If Grandma was in the rocking chair, he'd go over to her for pets.  None of us could be on Grandma's lap, because she had cancer and so her immune system was compromised by the chemo and radiation.  After she died, Heimdall went in to do his rounds and was very concerned when he didn't see her on the bed.  He hopped up onto the bed and immediately shrunk because he could tell she hadn't been there for a week.  She had been in the hospital for a few days before she died, so by the time Heimdall went into her room it had been almost two weeks since she'd last slept in her bed.  Heimdall immediately let Mommy pick him up and snuggle him, then Freya came over to lick him on the head when he was set in the hallway.  He still pulls on Grandma's door at least twice a day, hoping that she'll reappear.

Tabby is the only one of us who knew that humans could die.  She'd encountered death smells and "not there" smells, as well as ministered to dying friends on her visits, so she's been trying to help the rest of us through this.  However, without direct experience, it's hard for us to visualize one of our people being "not there".  It's a different "not there" than when fosters have been adopted.  This "not there" leaves an empty place that's sad, instead of a happy-sad one, and we don't like it.

Mommy let us smell the death smells on Grandma's things when they were retrieved from the hospital, but that only helped a little.  Human death smells, while similar, are still different enough from kitty death smells that we don't know if what we smelled really was a death smell.  Our purrents say it was, but we can't be sure.  All we know is that our third purrson is missing from our lives.

We love you, Grandma!  We miss you very much, and wish you were here to give us leg pets and hand pets, knit blankets for us, and tell us how much you love us, too.  If you were here, Heimdall would purr his best motorboat purr for you!  We know you are at the Bridge, so we will see you again.  We hope your spirit will come visit us like the spirits of our furry family members Skylar and Spooky.

Stephanie Thompson

July 20, 1948 to

August 8, 2014

Miss Marble has flown to the Bridge

Miss Marble writes:

This is my last blog post.  Goodbye friends!  I will watch over every one of you from the Rainbow Bridge, and I will send down my love to you!

Last night, I snuggled with Mommy, Daddy, and my inside family, but this morning I wanted out again (as usual).  My purrents have a jingle bell necklace on the door to the other dimension (aka the front door), and I have learned to make that ring to tell them I want out.  I rang the bell this morning, so Mommy let me out, saying "See you later" as usual.  They never kept me inside against my will.  I was born feral, and they knew that I would never be happy as just an inside kitty, so they let me go outside when I wanted.

A few hours later, Daddy was getting ready to leave for an appointment.  He went out the door, looked at the road, and saw something.  It was I, lying in a pool of blood on the road.  I had been hit by a car while crossing the road.  I was killed instantly.

At the approximate time I was killed, my inside-mama-cat Freya (not my real mama cat, but she treated me as her kitten) had stopped walking for a few minutes and sat down, unfocusing on the household and focusing on something else.  Mommy thought it was very strange at the time, but she and Daddy now realize that she probably had heard me make one last cry.

Daddy collected me on a bag and buried me under my favorite cedar tree and roses, where my sister and I used to play as kittens and rest as adults.  Mommy and Daddy are hoping that my sister will come visit, but they haven't seen her since Panther took over the backyard territory.

I love you all very much, and that love transcends death.

Therapy Cat Tales from 2/4/11

Tabby writes:


This may be my last Friday visit to H., because of scheduling conflicts with Mommy's work.  Don't worry; we will still visit!  It'll just be on another day, probably on Wednesdays or possibly on Thursdays.  Mommy says for me to be glad I'm a kitty, that I don't need to worry about things like scheduling conflicts or politics or any of that.  I don't care what my schedule is like, as long as I get to eat, drink water, play, sleep, and see my friends!  :)  >^..^<

It was a sad day on Friday.  Rest in peace, Mrs. E.  :'(  I loved visiting with you, and I wanted to come say goodbye to you, but we didn't want to intrude on your last time with your family.  I don't know if you knew, but they were standing all around your bed, talking to you, with the lights down very low.  One was chanting some kind of a prayer.  We stood outside in the hallway, right outside your door, and I lay down in my stroller while Mommy said a prayer for you and for your family.  Much love to you and yours, and I'll look for you when I eventually cross over the Rainbow Bridge!  I'm sure your furry family and loved ones were there to greet you as you passed.

Another friend may not be there when I visit again in two weeks.  May she rest peacefully in God's arms when it is her time.  That's the sad part of my job; saying goodbye to friends, knowing that they may not be there the next time we visit.  We take comfort in knowing that I did my part to make their lives here a bit more joyful.

The first thing I did when I got up to my floor was greet the new nurse.  I love making new friends!  She was so nice, and gave me ear scritches.  Then, she said that two people were waiting especially for me in the TV room!  Wow!  Sure enough, they had their printouts of the day's schedule, with the part with "Tabby the Cat" folded to show on the top!  That's ME!!!!!  :)  >^..^<  G. wanted me to show off my tricks, but I could feel the sad atmosphere from Mrs. E.'s room and didn't really want to do any of them.  However, after about 5 minutes, I did walk on my leash and everyone smiled and laughed.  After that, I asked Mommy for pets, then sat on G.'s walker seat (she was sitting in a chair at the time, so her walker seat was empty) while she petted me and M. petted me.  Then, we made our rounds through the 10 or so people in the TV room, two of which had wheeled down just to see me because they'd heard I was there.  One lady even got to take her medicine a half hour later because she hadn't yet visited with me!

After the TV room friends, we made our way down each of the hallways on the floor, stopping in to see friends and new people.  One lady, who was there for just a few weeks anyway, was just leaving and going to go back home to her very own kitty!  She had her husband stop pushing her chair so that she could pet me.  I purred and purred for them both!  I was happy to hear that she could go back home to her own kitty.

When we were done, Mommy called Daddy and he came to get me.  He and I drove to go get our friend Erin and her little boy JJ, then came back to pick Mommy up after her work.  Erin and JJ got to spend the weekend with us!