We have another angel.

Another one has left us. Panther was having trouble pooping last night (30th-31st) so I sequestered him in the bathroom for the night (of course, with the usual food/water/litter box). Scott and I were going to make an appointment for him for Saturday, because he'd been losing weight over the last year. He was about 9 1/2 years old (would've been 10 around Thanksgiving), and had been with us since he showed up at our back deck at 1 1/2 years old with pneumonia. For those who know Cai von Kugler, this is the Panth she had for a while who came back to live with us again.

I stayed up until dawn with him, hanging out with him and talking to him (along with lots of pets, of course). I finally needed to get at least some sleep, so I went to bed. I was asleep for around an hour and a half, and when I woke up he had passed away. He was cross-ways in the tub, and Scott said it looked like he might've had a seizure and passed soon after I went to bed. I think he waited until I wasn't hovering.

The other cats knew what had happened, because they were all surrounding me when I got up. Sherbet, his littermate brother, is upset, totally understandable! When Scott got home, he buried Panth next to Heimdall underneath the pine tree. We have a single yellow rose blooming this year on the bush under that tree, and that's where most of our angel furkids are buried.

 Panther

Nov. 2012 - Aug. 31, 2022

A Gotcha Day anniversary, a Bridge Day anniversary, and a new angel

The PDX pride mama here.  This post is not one that I wanted to ever write.  I'll start with the good thing.  Today is Freya's & Heimdall's 12th Gotcha Day anniversary!  After Skylar went to the Bridge 12 years ago (that was on the 23rd), I was looking at kittens online at Salem Friends of Felines and saw Heimdall's picture.  I showed it to Scott, then he saw that Heimdall had a sister.  We knew then that they had been sent to us by Skylar & Lydia, because they looked so much like them.  Freya & Heimdall were 3 1/2 months old when we got them.

Now, the sad news.  Only Freya is here to celebrate.  Heimdall went to the Bridge on the 23rd, so he now shares a Bridge Day date with Skylar.  In April, Heimdall came down with a really bad double ear infection.  We took him to a vet we hadn't used before (mistake #1) instead of our regular vet because we couldn't get in to our regular vet in a decent amount of time.  The other vet diagnosed his double ear infection, gave us medication (actually four different ones) and we were told that he had a "mass" in his right ear that would continue to grow and had ruptured his eardrum.  Mistake #2, because the "mass" was actually an ear polyp which ended up shrinking back down without damaging the eardrum.  We were told that he would have chronic ear infections, a head tilt, and awkward gait for the rest of his life.

Because of this (mis)diagnosis, we didn't get him rechecked more than once after that initial visit (mistake #3).  He started going downhill fast the last three weeks.  He was very lethargic, had given up, and wasn't interested in food (although he was still eating, just more because he thought he should rather than because he felt he needed to eat).  He shakily climbed up onto the futon to snuggle with his daddy the last couple days of his life.  He wasn't grooming himself at all, even when he fell down in the litter box, since we took him in to that vet in April, and he started to resent me trying to clean him up.  He had litter caked in-between his toes that he didn't take care of, so his daddy and I had to.  We made the appointment to put him to sleep.

At his appointment (with our regular vet), we were told that his eardrums were intact, his ear canals had a lot of debris in them but that the vet could see the eardrums which didn't look damaged at all.  The vet said there were small polyps (probably what the other vet had called a mass) that were not impeding the ear canal at all.  However, because his sinus infection had blown all out of proportion due to being untreated (because we had thought the symptoms were from ruptured eardrums and the mass), his poor body was so weakened that he would've had a long, uphill battle to regain his health.  I made the decision to not put him through that and to put him to sleep instead.  I held him while the vet gave him his shots.  He growled at the vet and stuck his tongue out when the vet put his paws back onto my lap, but then he put his head down on my hand like he loved to do and was gone.

We brought his body back, opened the box, and let the others say their goodbyes.  Freya curled up in the box lid, so we had one dead tuxie twin in one side of the box and one live tuxie twin in the other.  She's kind of lost without him, since they have never been apart since they were littermates.  I had to lift her out of the lid twice so that I could hand the box with Heimdall's body to his daddy.  He buried him by the roses under the cedar tree in the backyard, near where Carbon and Rori are buried.

I just finished writing an e-mail to the other vet, telling them what happened.  So many mistakes on their part and on our part.  We feel so guilty for letting our boy down by not taking him for a second opinion.  We should've done more for him.  He should be here to celebrate today with his sister.

Heimdall with his favorite toy, a fishy potato chip clip

Heimdall Skylar

March 24, 2010 to July 23, 2022

End of an era and many sads

We lost Tabby in September, Rori in November, and Starla in December.  This scrapbook page was made by Mommy using scrapbooking supplies from The Cherry On Top.

Shadow:  Uncle Panther, I has a sads.  I has many sads.
Panther:  Me, too, Shadow.  It's not just a kitten feeling.  We big cats have it, too.  Anytime we have to say goodbye to a family member, it's hard, and especially this past year.  We had to say goodbye to the three oldest.
Shadow:  But why?  Why did they have to run off to the Bridge?  I only just got here, and only just met them, and now not only Auntie Tabby but Auntie Rori and Auntie Starla are gone, too!
Panther:  Because no one lives forever, little one.  Not even aunties and uncles, or mommies or daddies.  We all will someday run off to the Bridge, too, but hopefully not for a long time.
Shadow:  I know they didn't feel well.  Is that why?  Were they all sickies?
Panther:  Yes, Shadow, they were all sick.  Rori and her sister Little Bit, who went to the Bridge before you came to live with us, both had seizures and Rori's were getting a lot worse.  She was so weak that she could barely move around, yet somehow she kept going when we thought we would have had to say goodbye to her a while ago.  I don't know how she had the strength to keep on going, but that's part of what made her such a wonderful Big Kitty.  I miss her, too.  I wish she were still here so that I didn't have to be the Big Kitty now.  Even though I'm in charge, I don't want to be.
Shadow:  Really?  But you're a great kitty to have in charge!
Panther:  Thank you.  But yes, really.  Rori was the best Big Kitty, even better than when Auntie Tigress was the outside Big Kitty.  Tigress doesn't want to be the inside Big Kitty, though.  She's done with that job now that she's inside.
Shadow:  Oh.  Was it just the shakes that Rori had that made her sickies?
Panther:  We don't know.  Not even the vet knew for sure, although they think that she had pancreatitis, too.  She had that for a while.  All we know is that Rori was very, very sick and one day she just couldn't hold on any longer.  She stopped eating and drinking, and then got so weak that she couldn't barely pull herself to the litter box.  She was begging Mommy and Daddy to help her, so they helped her to the Bridge.  She was hurting a lot.
Shadow:  I'm glad she's not hurting any more.
Panther:  Me, too.
Shadow:  But what about Auntie Starla?  She smelled bad.  She peed on the floor.
Panther:  Yes, she did.  She never really learned how to use the litter box.  Her original people were bad.
Shadow:  You mean they returned her like my first people did?
Panther:  No, even worse than you can ever imagine.  They didn't ever take care of her.  They scared and hurt her and wouldn't let her inside their house.
Shadow:  That's super-bad!
Panther:  Yes, and there's more, but I'll wait until you're a little older to tell you that.  So she never was taught to use the litter box like most indoor kitties.  She used the floor instead, although Mommy and Daddy taught her to use the floors that were easier to clean up.
Shadow:  And the tub.
Panther:  Yes, and the tub.  That was easiest to clean up!  But then she got really sick and forgot to use the easy-to-clean-up spots.  She used the new wood floors, which was a big no-no.
Shadow:  Is that why she ran off to the Bridge?
Panther:  No, not really.  Mommy cleaned up after her, and so did Daddy sometimes.  They didn't like cleaning all that up, but they knew that Starla couldn't remember to use the other places.  The reason she had to run off to the Bridge just before Christmas was that she got cancer.
Shadow:  What's that?  Whatever it is, I know it isn't a nice thing!  Mean cancer.
Panther:  Yes, it is mean.  It means she was very sick, as sick as Tabby was, but in a different way.  That's why she was so skinny.  Then, when she was too tired and sick to notice that she was peeing when she was sleeping, Mommy and Daddy knew it was time to help her to the Bridge.
Shadow:  What does Mommy mean when she keeps saying that it's the end of an era?
Panther:  Well, none of the kitties who are here now were the ones who moved here with Mommy and Daddy ten years ago.  I wasn't even born then, and neither were any of the others who are here now.
Shadow:  Not even Freya & Heimdall?  They're old, but not as old as the others!
Panther:  Not even them.  The ones who moved here were Tabby, Carbon, Skylar, Rori, Starla, and Spooky.  He looked like you and like me, but he ran off to the Bridge when he was a kitten.  Everyone else, everyone who is here now, wasn't even born then.
Shadow:  Oh.  I don't want anyone else to go away!
Panther:  I don't, either.  *licks the top of Shadow's head*

Very sad day

The PDX pride mommy writes:

I have very sad news.  Last night, we had to say goodbye to Tabby.  She was down to just under 6 lbs., had advanced dementia, and was falling off the places she chose to sleep.  Last night, she could barely get to her favorite recliner and then was very disoriented so she only stayed on her daddy's lap for a few minutes before coming in and climbing shakily onto my lap.  It was time.  We all said our goodbyes at home, then we harnessed her up for one last car ride.  She watched out the windows and knew where we were once we got to the vet, but then became disoriented again when we were carrying her into the building.  She fell asleep gently while air-kneading just before 10:30 pm, then was given the final shot and passed peacefully.  The above picture was taken while waiting for the vet to come in with the shots.  She looks worried because she was so disoriented that she didn't really know quite why I would be taking a picture of her there.

We brought her body home and buried her in the yard by her brother, Carbon.  The others got the chance to sniff her body and say goodbye once again if they wanted to.  The twins and Starla declined, but the others came over to pay their respects.  This was Shadow's first time dealing with death, and he still isn't quite sure what happened, but the others are helping him.  He gently touched her body with his paw, then lay down next to the box that held it.

Thank you for all the love you have shown our girl over the years.

Fly free, Little Bit!

The PDX pride mommy writes:

On May 19th, we put our Little Bit to sleep.  She had been unable to contain her pee and had been having "rolling pees", where she would roll and spray while biting her side or her leg.  At first we thought she had "hot spots", but then we realized it was something more serious.  This had been going on for years, but had gotten way worse the past few weeks.  Our whole family, including Mommy S., Mommy Erin, and the kids, said our goodbyes. The PDX pride daddy and I bundled Bitty up and took her to the emergency vet.  He agreed that she was most likely having a series of seizures that had been going on for years.  I held her and petted her while she drifted away.  All the cats gathered around her body when we got back to the house and said their goodbyes, then the PDX pride daddy buried her in the backyard.  She was 10 years old.  April 1, 2008 to May 19, 2018.

Fly free, sweet Missy!

Missy, we don't know what went wrong or what exactly happened, but we know you were suffering and so we made the only decision possible.  Yesterday morning, you let the dog visiting us sniff you.  A couple hours later, we found bloody diarrhea and two solid lumps of something on the floor, with a tail trail under your daddy's dresser.  Rori went under to be with you for a little while.  Panther, Dare, and Autumn all said their goodbyes once you decided to come out of hiding, while Mommy cleaned up the floor and also cleaned you up as best she could.  You had tried, but you just didn't have the energy anymore.  Mommy sat with you and told you that it would be ok if you felt the need to leave us.  You were barely hanging on at that point.  Daddy came in and petted you for a while, then called the vet.  Our usual vet was very busy, and we knew this was an emergency, so he called the vet just down the street, too.  They were available, so Daddy put you in the carrier and he and Mommy took you to the vet.

Once there, they took you immediately into the back to stabilize you the best they could.  You were still hanging on, but barely.  The vet and vet techs were so kind to you.  They wrapped you in warm blankets and gave you fluids through an IV.  They tried to take your blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate, but the levels were not perceptible or only just perceptible.  Your heartbeat was a soft flutter.  The vet, Daddy, and Mommy knew what needed to be done, although nobody wanted to say goodbye to you this soon.  Your blood vessels were collapsing in on themselves and the vet thought that there must've been a mass on your intestines that burst.

Mommy went in the back to say goodbye.  Daddy sat and cried and Mommy cried and petted you.  You were barely conscious, and going quickly.  The vet gave you the first shot (anesthetic) and your chin immediately hit your paws.  You didn't really need the second (actual) shot, but the vet  gave it to you just to be sure.  Mommy knew you were gone already.  The vet tried to find your heartbeat but you were gone.

Mommy went to be with Daddy, and they cried for a while.  The vet brought your body in to them, and they brought you home.  Daddy dug a hole while Mommy opened the box for the rest of us to see your body.  We all knew already.  Autumn doesn't really know what death means, though, but she sniffed you and wondered why you were in a box.  She thought it was weird that you didn't respond, so she sniffed you again.  Panther sniffed you, looked you all over, touched noses with Autumn, and left the room.  Mommy brought Tabby out to see.  The others decided not to come over to sniff, because goodbyes had been said already.  Daddy opened the box and lifted your body out gently, petted it, talked to you, then set your body in the hole and covered it with dirt and a cinder block to keep raccoons away.

Your body is buried by the roses in the backyard, where we buried Miss Marble and close to where we buried Carbon.  You always loved flowers.  We will never forget you, our idiosyncratic non-feral feral who knew where to go and what to do when she needed help.  You did the first time we met you, and you did the last time we saw you alive.

Missy was between 8 and 9 years old, as near as we can figure.  She came to us at the age of approximately 2 1/2 years old and was Daddy Scott's constant companion and chief snuggler.  It took her a year to purr for him, but then she didn't stop.  She tried to climb in coat sleeves when she got petted, but would bite if she felt it was too much.  We love you, and we always will.  You are at peace now, Missy, and out of pain.

Fly Free, Carbon!

Carbon, June 8, 2005 to August 17, 2016

Carbon writes:

Today I earned my angel wings.  I'm sad about leaving my family, especially my sister, Tabby, but I'm glad to be feeling whole again in mind and body.

The above picture was taken a few years ago, when I was still feeling well.  Within the last year, I've really been failing.  I lost a lot of weight, my fur on my tail and sides got so matted that I begged Mommy to cut the mats out (which I hated doing) without a struggle.  I yelled for food and followed everyone around for bites of theirs, so Mama Shawnee nicknamed me "Shark".  She trained me to sit on the footstool in the kitchen and wait while she cooked omelettes, then she would give me bites of the egg and meat.

Within the last week, my mind's been failing, too.  I've always been super-smart and alert, but lately I've been not listening, not responding the same way to others and things, and taking a while to realize when I needed to use the litter box.  Well, that last one has been for a few months now, actually, although up until the last few days I would go try if someone said to.

Last night, Mommy came down the hallway to find me being a loaf (normal) with a glazed expression on my face (very not-normal).  She asked me if I was ok, and it took me about a minute to focus enough to look up at her, and then I had a confused expression on my face.  I didn't know how I'd gotten to that spot, why I was there, if I'd been headed somewhere else, or why Mommy was worried!  She asked me if I wanted a hug or a cuddle, and I meowed sadly at her.  My meow changed, too, from what it had been.  I sounded as lost as I felt.

Mommy picked me up and gave me a huge hug, then carried me to a chair and sat down with me on her lap.  She gave me another big hug while some of the other cats gathered around to sniff me.  I tried to tell her that I was ready to go to the Bridge.  The others knew it, too.

Early this morning, Rori ran to get Daddy, meowing her head off.  Daddy didn't know what she was trying to tell him, but she sounded and acted very worried.  Daddy asked Mommy, but she didn't know why, either.  Once she woke up, though, she knew.

I was in my box lid in the dining room, where I loved to hang out and nap, but whenever anyone else approached the food or the water, I ran to them and beat them up.  Then I ran back to my box lid and lay down again.  Tabby was supposed to go on one of her animal-assisted therapy visits, but I beat her up, too, when she tried to eat breakfast.  She was so upset, she ran and asked Mommy what was going on with me.  Then she wouldn't leave the part of the room I was in, choosing to watch over me even though I wouldn't let her snuggle.

Truth be told, I didn't even recognize the other cats as my family today.  All I knew was they were trying to get my food and my water, so I defended what was mine.  I feel very sad about that, and I hope they know I didn't mean it personally.

Daddy and Mommy discussed what to do, but it was more like when, not what.  Mommy called the vet, Mama Shawnee, and Mama Cai, while Daddy called Mama Erin and texted Debbie and Kimila (friends of ours who loved me).  Once the purrents were ready, Mommy tricked me into the carrier bag and zipped me in.  I tried to get out a few times, and ended up sticking my head out while we went out to the car, but Mommy was holding my head.  I actually did better on the car ride than both Daddy and Mommy thought, but especially better than Daddy thought I'd do.  I kept my pee in my body, which is a big thing for me on car rides, and hardly yelled at all.  My purrents petted me while we traveled.

At the vet's, there were a lot of dogs on one side, but the other side was pretty quiet.  Daddy checked me in while I lay in the carrier on the quiet side on Mommy's lap.  Then Daddy held me for a while in the carrier, too.  He reassured me that none of the doggies would come and get me, and told me none of them were Mixx, the one who lived with us until recently.  Mixx lives somewhere else now; long story, and not ours to tell, but not by anyone's choice.

It was going to be 20 minutes for a room if my purrents wanted to be with me when the vet put me to sleep, or they could take me back right away if we didn't need a room.  Daddy can't deal with being in the room emotionally, too sad for him.  Mommy sometimes does and sometimes doesn't.  She felt that it would be best if it were done as soon as possible, so the vet tech took me back.  At 2:15 pm, I went to the Bridge.  They wrapped me in a thin blanket that had been donated for that purpose and put me into a cardboard box, then taped it up and took my body out to my purrents.  Mommy and Daddy both had been crying, and cried more when they got into the car.

At home, Mommy opened the box and took my body out, after uncovering my head and paws.  Autumn wanted to hop in the box, but no one would let her.  Then she saw me in there, and left the box alone.  Daddy let everyone know what had happened, and he and Mommy petted everyone.  My sister sniffed me, nuzzled my ear, sniffed my paws, and slowly walked over to Daddy.  He told her how sorry he was, but that I wasn't coming back, then she walked over to Mommy to the same response.  She slowly walked back, and conferred with Missy about it.  One by one, everyone came to pay their respects.  Sherbet didn't want to come up to my body, and hissed at Mommy when she went over to him to have him smell her hands, so she didn't push the issue.  Starla was carried over to me, sniffed me, conferred with Tabby, then figured it out and ran to the chair.  Daddy carried the twins in from the other room.  Freya kept thinking that I was just sleeping, and came back many times to check on my, thinking I might wake up.  Mommy got Rori, who took the news badly and bolted back down the hallway.

Daddy dug a hole and buried me by the cedar tree in the backyard, by the roses where Miss Marble is buried.  That's the toughest part emotionally for him:  digging the hole and laying the body to rest, then covering it up.  It's so final.  He and Mommy are going to keep the blanket I was wrapped in and use it in the carrier for the others for vet visits and things like that.  They also have a clay double-paw print that I made for them at the vet's, with my name stamped below my paw prints.

I love you all, purrents, friends, sissy, nieces, nephews, and extended furmily!  I'll wait for you here at the Bridge with the other angels.

Love,

    Carbon Cuddlekins/Fluffikins

P.S.  How appropriate that today's Black Cat Appreciation Day!

Remembering Skylar....

Skylar, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you and how you lit up our lives.  I dreamt about you, and woke up feeling a presence behind me on the pillow.  No one was there, at least no one living, but I believe you came to visit us so I smiled and said hi to you.

In some ways, it doesn't seem like it could be five years since you left us.  In others, it seems like more than that because our lives have changed so much since then.  Your other mommy, Erin, and your little boy, JJ, are doing fine.  We know you loved them just as much as you loved your daddy and me.  We all tell JJ how you knew he was there before Erin did, and how you used to sit on Erin and purr at him.  I'm so glad that Erin could be with us when we said goodbye to you, hard as that was for all involved, including Dr. C.

You were one special boy, Skylar, and we cherish your memory and the memories of our time with you.  You were so full of life, even at the end when you were so sick.  You kept your word, sending us new twins in the form of Freya & Heimdall, who inherited the same respect from the others as you and Lydia had.  We see your influence in their lives every day, even though you never actually met them.  There's a reason we gave Heimdall your name as his middle name, because his personality matches yours in so many inexplicable ways.  He's sleeping on the computer desk as I'm typing this, dreaming away.

Carbon took over your role in the household when you left, and has become just as much the "bouncer" of the family as you were, keeping peace between the others, although always deferential to Rori, who is still our Big Kitty (alpha).

I'm sure you greeted my mom last year and are taking good care of her, along with the other furries she knew in life.  That gives me some comfort.  I know you're with your beloved sister Lydia, and the others who went to the Bridge.

We miss you so much, dear Skylar, but we're glad to have had the gift of knowing both you and your sister while you lived.  Thank you.

Love,

your mommy Karen.

Miss Marble's 1st Bridge Day Anniversary

Miss Marble writes:

It was one year ago today that I left my earthly family and gained my angel wings.  I know that they still miss me terribly.  I don't know what made me not notice the car coming, or what made me try right then to cross the street, which I normally never did.  You might say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or was I?  Because I left for the Bridge, my sister decided that she could start to come inside.  She thought it was my territory before, so she didn't want to intrude on a place she considered to be only mine.  We shared most territory, but she didn't want to try to come inside while I was alive.  When she came back from her walkabout a couple months after I flew to the Bridge, she immediately decided inside was a good place!  Now she's almost as comfortable inside as I was!

I miss you, sissy Tigress, and I miss all of my inside family, my purrents, and all my friends.  Love to you from the Bridge!

The Great Meow!

The Great Meow is an event on Facebook (and off) in remembrance of all those kitties who have gone to the Bridge.  If you are on Facebook, you can find out more about it by clicking here.

Rori, our alpha cat, is MEOWING loudly for all our angel kits, as are our other cats.  You can find out more about our angels by clicking each of their names as we meow them out.

Spooky/Nyx (6-2007 to 3-26-2008)
Big-Head Kitty (feral, died in 2008 at about 2 years old)
Lydia (10-26-1999 to 10-13-2008)
Baby Chiba (died as a kitten in 2008)
Sara Kitty (died 1-5-2009 at about 18 years old)
Baby-Dot (9-1-2009 to 9-21-2009)
Baby-Tuxie (9-1-2009 to 9-22-2009)
Squishy (5-27-2009 to 11-2009)
Spooky 2 (7-2009 to 6-6-2010)
Skylar (10-26-1999 to 7-23-2010)
Grey Striped Kitty (feral, died 11-6-2010)
Miss Marble (5-12-2011 to 7-31-2013)

Miss Marble has flown to the Bridge

Miss Marble writes:

This is my last blog post.  Goodbye friends!  I will watch over every one of you from the Rainbow Bridge, and I will send down my love to you!

Last night, I snuggled with Mommy, Daddy, and my inside family, but this morning I wanted out again (as usual).  My purrents have a jingle bell necklace on the door to the other dimension (aka the front door), and I have learned to make that ring to tell them I want out.  I rang the bell this morning, so Mommy let me out, saying "See you later" as usual.  They never kept me inside against my will.  I was born feral, and they knew that I would never be happy as just an inside kitty, so they let me go outside when I wanted.

A few hours later, Daddy was getting ready to leave for an appointment.  He went out the door, looked at the road, and saw something.  It was I, lying in a pool of blood on the road.  I had been hit by a car while crossing the road.  I was killed instantly.

At the approximate time I was killed, my inside-mama-cat Freya (not my real mama cat, but she treated me as her kitten) had stopped walking for a few minutes and sat down, unfocusing on the household and focusing on something else.  Mommy thought it was very strange at the time, but she and Daddy now realize that she probably had heard me make one last cry.

Daddy collected me on a bag and buried me under my favorite cedar tree and roses, where my sister and I used to play as kittens and rest as adults.  Mommy and Daddy are hoping that my sister will come visit, but they haven't seen her since Panther took over the backyard territory.

I love you all very much, and that love transcends death.

Skylar's three-year Bridge Day anniversary

It's been three years since Skylar became an angel.  What a lot has changed in that time!  We still miss him every single day, but treasure the memories, especially as we see Heimdall & Freya grow into their adult selves.  When Freya carries her fuzzy socks around the house, meowing to them, we're reminded of Skylar's sister Lydia doing the same thing with yarn puffballs.  When Heimdall snuggles into our arms or gets a funny look on his face and dashes around the house yowling at the top of his lungs, we laugh and remember Skylar doing the same things.

Those years with Skylar grow ever sweeter looking back.  He was the mommy's first kitty, and adopted her before she officially adopted him.  He was almost five years old at the time of his adoption, fully his adult self, but still willing to start his life over with Mommy and Daddy, his littermate, and two small kittens (Tabby and Carbon).  Between that day and the end of his life, he was honorary uncle to many foster kittens, enjoying every minute of playing tails with them and teaching them how to play.  Mommy was his person, but he adopted Mommy Erin as his second person, then Daddy as his third person and (then baby) JJ as his fourth person.  He loved to terrorize his sister Lydia, but she loved putting up with it.  It was a game between the two of them.

Even at the end, old and crochety as he was, he would come over for a snuggle and a proffered lap to sleep in.  He loved being held like a baby.  He never lost his wonderful Siamese yowl, especially when it came to food, and was the official timekeeper of the household.

We love and miss you every day, Skylar.  Thank you for sharing our lives and letting us into yours!

Thinking of Skylar on his first Bridge Day anniversary

There really are no words that fully express what this last year has been like for our family.  Skylar was the first cat who ever adopted me fully, even before I adopted him.  He was my "heart cat", as one of my friends puts it.  He was everyone's favorite, the one who played with all our foster babies and taught them how to have fun.  His sister was the head of the household, but he was next.  When she passed, the new head of household (Rori) still deferred to him a lot of the time.  That alone tells you how revered he was in this family.

As I think about him today, and grieve once again, I will cry into the fur of one who looks and acts so similar to him that sometimes we have to stop ourselves before we call Heimdall by Skylar's name accidentally.  Heimdall was the name given to the keeper of the Rainbow Bridge in Norse mythology, so it's appropriate that we gave that name to the kitten Skylar sent us, three days after he journeyed.  Heimdall and his sister Freya are signs that Skylar is still watching over us every day, and will continue to watch over us on our earthly journey, waiting for us at Bridge's end.

Thank you to all our friends who have supported us through this past year.  We love you all!

Remembering our family at the Rainbow Bridge

We remember today our furry family members who are waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.  We will always love you, and every day we miss having you walk with us in body.  We know you are and forever will walk with us in spirit!

 Skylar

Oct. 26, 1999 - July 23, 2010

Lydia

Oct. 26, 1999 - Oct. 13, 2008

 Sara Princess Kitty

1991 - Jan. 5, 2009

 Baby Chiba

April 15, 2008 - Dec. 2008

 Spooky 1/Nyx

June 2007 - March 26, 2008

 Squishy

May 27, 2009 - Nov. 2009

 Baby-Tuxie

Sept. 1, 2009 - Sept. 22, 2009

 Baby-Dot

Sept. 1, 2009 - Sept. 21, 2009

Spooky 2

July 2009 - June 6, 2010

Sad Feral Friday Yesterday

Yesterday was a sad Feral Friday.  Our outside friend, grey striped kitty, got hit by a car and ended up on his side in our driveway yesterday afternoon.  He was friendly, probably someone's pet who was an outside-only cat, or someone's former pet turned out on his own.  He never let us pet him, or come very close, but he once jumped on our grandpa's car and looked in at him when he came to visit!  So he had to have some positive experience with humans at some point in his life.  He was probably somewhere between 2 and 5 years old.  He visited us at least every other day, eating from the food on our back deck.

Rest in peace, grey striped kitty!  We'll miss you!

Mommy saw his body in the driveway when Grandpa drove her home after work last night.  Daddy buried him with Skylar & Spooky, while Grandpa held the flashlight.  We watched with Mommy from inside the house, through the back window.

Lydia's Bridge Day Anniversary

Sweet Lady Lydia, today marks two years since you flew away to the Bridge.  I still miss you every day, and I know your dad does, too.  Skylar is with you now, together again just as you were in life, and I know you both are looking down on us.

Freya is sooo much like you, love.  Sometimes, I think Rori thinks Freya's you in miniature.  Sometimes I think we all do.  She could be you come back to us, she's that similar in looks & behavior.  She is learning to snuggle with her daddy just like you did, and Rori is teaching her how to be a lady of the house (when Freya's not chasing Rori wanting her to play, lol).  Freya & Heimdall are bonded and act like you and Skylar, and we're forever grateful for them, knowing that you and your brother had a paw in sending them to us.

We love you so much, Lydia, and will always love you!  We honor and cherish your memory today and always.

Love,

Mom.

Journey to the Rainbow Bridge

Skylar with Mommy Erin, at the vet

Skylar with Mom, at the vet

This morning, I woke up on the bed curled up with Dad, Mom, and Starla.  Rori was at the foot of the bed, too.  I woke Mom and Dad up when the alarm went off, and Mom fed me TUNA!  She and Dad got ready, while I lay by the water bowls in the dining room, exchanging sniffs with Carbon, Tabby, and Little Bit.

Then, Dad went out to the truck, and I got up to follow him.  Mom said to wait, so I lay back down while she put my harness and leash on.  She went to wash her hands, because I had jumped in the tub while she was getting ready so I had water all over my tummy.  I got up to follow her, but Carbon bit my leash and pinned me!  I lay down under the table instead, then Little Bit pinned me by my leash, too!

Mom picked me up, petted everyone, and we went out the door.  When we got in the truck, I walked over to sit on Dad's lap so I could look out the window, like I usually do.  They said we were going to pick up Mommy Erin.  Why?  I looked right at them when they said Mommy Erin's name, knowing who she was (which I sometimes forgot, but I was forgetting a lot of things recently).

When Mommy Erin got in the truck, Mom sat in the back so I could sit with Erin, but I kept switching between her and Dad.  Then, we turned onto the street where my doctor is, and I knew that's where we were going!  I went over to sit in Erin's lap, looking out the window, until we got there, then I looked straight through the windshield at the doctor's office!

We all got out of the car, and I wanted to walk.  Nope, Mom insisted on carrying me.  In we went, straight into a room.  We were only there a few minutes before they switched rooms on us because another patient was coming in who needed an isolation room.  No one minded, because no one cared which room we were in.  The vet tech came in with paperwork, which Mom signed, and Mom and Mommy Erin took pictures of me.  Finally they put me down so I could rest!  I lay on the floor, purring.  I knew somehow, the doctor was going to do something for my pain and make me feel better.  The doctor always helps me; I love my Dr. Bob and Dr. C.!

Dr. C. came in, and she DID give me something for my pain!  She gave me a shot that made me VERY sleepy!  I didn't want to go to sleep, but Mom and Mommy Erin said it was ok.  Dad was sitting in the chair, and he said it was ok to go to sleep, too.  Mom and Erin petted me until I fell asleep, then Dad came over and petted me, saying his goodbyes to me, and kissed me.  He went out of the room, but at that point I wasn't in a position to follow him.

Mommy Erin picked me up, and my tongue stuck out of my mouth!  I wiggled it, but I was too sleepy to put it back in!  Dr. C. said that might happen, and it was normal for sedated cats.  What Mom and Erin didn't expect, though, was to hear me PURRRRRRR!!!!!  I was soooo sleepy, but I wasn't in pain anymore, and I was happy, they were holding me and petting me, and I was comfortable, more comfortable than I've been in years!

Dr. C. came in and made pawprints for Mom and Mommy Erin.  She shaved parts of my fur off my leg and over my heart, and gave the fur to them as well.  Then, she tried to give me the other shot.  She couldn't find my blood vessel in my rear leg!  She said I have "old man veins"!  Hmm...I don't think that was meant as a compliment!  She used a vein in my front leg, which she could see after shaving some more of my thick fur, but not all the shot would go in.  Enough of it went, though.

My heartbeat slowed, breathing slowed, then everything stopped.

I was floating, looking down on everyone as my body was wrapped in blue surgical sheeting and given to Mom.  Mom and Dad drove Mommy Erin home, then drove home and let the other cats sniff my body.  Dad brought Starla out of the bedroom to sniff, too.  Then they buried my body in the backyard right next to Spooky's body.

I floated higher, then saw my sister Lydia coming toward me!  Lydi!  We greeted each other, purring together.  Then, I saw both our little Spooky and our foster Spooky/Nyx, Sara Kitty, Squishy, and all the other angels waiting for me.  All my angel Catster friends were there, too, gathered underneath Calvin's sign!

I asked if I could visit my family from time to time, and everyone said I could.  I know they are really going to miss me, and I'm going to miss them, but I know they did the best thing for me.  They took all my pain away, and that's the best gift anyone can give.  I love you!

It will be Friday

Skylar writes:

I'm in the bedroom, resting on the bed with Rori and Starla, so I'll let Mom type this.  My appointment's set for Friday morning at 9:40 am.  Everyone at the vet's is sad, too, because I'm a favorite patient there.  None of their other client families have cats who come in on leash and are well-behaved in the waiting room like I am!  Imagine that!

Dad can't get the day off, but he has the morning off at least.  Mommy Erin is trying to get a sitter for JJ so that she can be there, too, to say goodbye to me.

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers, purrs, rosettes, treats, special gifts, p-mails, notes, etc.  Hugs to everyone from all of us!!!

Sad purrs,

Skylar.

Going to the Bridge sometime this week or next. :'(

Hi friends,

Yes, I'm still hanging out in the bathtub a lot.  We have some very sad news.  I'm going to be making my journey to the Bridge sometime either this week or next.  I've been vomiting tar-like liquid, plus my other symptoms (see my diary entry from a couple days ago).  Not good, so Mom and Dad talked with Dr. Bob today and he confirmed that it's my time to leave.  My purrents are scheduling it so that Dad has the day off from work and so that my other mommy, Mommy Erin, can be with me as well when I make my final journey.  We will let you all know when we schedule it.

Sad purrs,

Skylar.

Goodbye, Spooky! We loved you!

Spooky writes:

Yesterday afternoon, I was curled up in the dining room in my favorite spot, when all of a sudden I felt weird.  Something was happening, and not a good something!  Mommy was sleeping, and Daddy was taking a shower, so I ran to Daddy since he was closest.  I skidded to a halt in the hallway just as he came out of the shower, meowed my concern long and loud, then flopped over and started drooling, dripping a small puddle onto my paws and the floor.  Daddy cleaned me and it up, then set me on the couch so I could snuggle with him and Skylar.

Then, it happened again!  My eyes went wide and unseeing, my body went rigid, and I started drooling heavily again!  After it was done, I meowed a complaint and my confusion.

Daddy called for Mommy, who woke up and came out.  They both petted me while they tried to decide what to do.  Daddy called our friend Kellee, who's a vet tech, but she couldn't come until the next day.

About an hour later, I had another seizure.  This time, I was sitting on Mommy's lap when it started.  I looked helplessly at her, then lifted my tail and peed.  I couldn't help it!  Then the wide-eyed seizure, then drooling again, and my confused meowing.  Mommy and Daddy tried to get me to relax afterwards, petting me to calm me down again.  That helped a little, and I took a bit of a nap for a couple hours.

While I was asleep, Mommy searched online for vets that were open on a Saturday evening.  Of course, many were not.  She found one that was, and called them.  It was a 24-hour place, so when I woke up (and had another seizure) she and Daddy packed me into a carrier and drove to the hospital.

The people were so kind!  I had a seizure again as my purrents were filling out the paperwork, and the people immediately took me back and put me on a big table in the open room.  I looked at them and meowed, and one of them went to ask my purrents if they could give me something to help calm me down.  Of course, Daddy said yes, so they gave me Valium.

The vet came out to discuss options with my purrents.  She said that I probably had sustained brain damage from the seizures, and there was a poor prognosis if I survived.  The vet wanted to keep me in for 24 hours at least, give me i.v.'s and do bloodwork. Even then, it would be the same prognosis: not likely to survive, or very brain-damaged if I did survive. Mommy and Daddy said their goodbyes, and Mommy stayed with me and petted my head and cheek as the shot was given. :'( The hospital needs to hold my body until Monday so that the state can release it (standard procedure for anyone who comes in with seizures), so my purrents will bury my body then. The above picture is my picture superimposed on the bag that the vet did for my purrents to take home, containing a bit of my fur and the heart from my catheter wrap.

:'(

Mommy and Daddy loved you, Mr. Spooky kitten! R.I.P. July 2009 -- June 6, 2010