We have another angel.

Another one has left us. Panther was having trouble pooping last night (30th-31st) so I sequestered him in the bathroom for the night (of course, with the usual food/water/litter box). Scott and I were going to make an appointment for him for Saturday, because he'd been losing weight over the last year. He was about 9 1/2 years old (would've been 10 around Thanksgiving), and had been with us since he showed up at our back deck at 1 1/2 years old with pneumonia. For those who know Cai von Kugler, this is the Panth she had for a while who came back to live with us again.

I stayed up until dawn with him, hanging out with him and talking to him (along with lots of pets, of course). I finally needed to get at least some sleep, so I went to bed. I was asleep for around an hour and a half, and when I woke up he had passed away. He was cross-ways in the tub, and Scott said it looked like he might've had a seizure and passed soon after I went to bed. I think he waited until I wasn't hovering.

The other cats knew what had happened, because they were all surrounding me when I got up. Sherbet, his littermate brother, is upset, totally understandable! When Scott got home, he buried Panth next to Heimdall underneath the pine tree. We have a single yellow rose blooming this year on the bush under that tree, and that's where most of our angel furkids are buried.

 Panther

Nov. 2012 - Aug. 31, 2022

Fly Free, Carbon!

Carbon, June 8, 2005 to August 17, 2016

Carbon writes:

Today I earned my angel wings.  I'm sad about leaving my family, especially my sister, Tabby, but I'm glad to be feeling whole again in mind and body.

The above picture was taken a few years ago, when I was still feeling well.  Within the last year, I've really been failing.  I lost a lot of weight, my fur on my tail and sides got so matted that I begged Mommy to cut the mats out (which I hated doing) without a struggle.  I yelled for food and followed everyone around for bites of theirs, so Mama Shawnee nicknamed me "Shark".  She trained me to sit on the footstool in the kitchen and wait while she cooked omelettes, then she would give me bites of the egg and meat.

Within the last week, my mind's been failing, too.  I've always been super-smart and alert, but lately I've been not listening, not responding the same way to others and things, and taking a while to realize when I needed to use the litter box.  Well, that last one has been for a few months now, actually, although up until the last few days I would go try if someone said to.

Last night, Mommy came down the hallway to find me being a loaf (normal) with a glazed expression on my face (very not-normal).  She asked me if I was ok, and it took me about a minute to focus enough to look up at her, and then I had a confused expression on my face.  I didn't know how I'd gotten to that spot, why I was there, if I'd been headed somewhere else, or why Mommy was worried!  She asked me if I wanted a hug or a cuddle, and I meowed sadly at her.  My meow changed, too, from what it had been.  I sounded as lost as I felt.

Mommy picked me up and gave me a huge hug, then carried me to a chair and sat down with me on her lap.  She gave me another big hug while some of the other cats gathered around to sniff me.  I tried to tell her that I was ready to go to the Bridge.  The others knew it, too.

Early this morning, Rori ran to get Daddy, meowing her head off.  Daddy didn't know what she was trying to tell him, but she sounded and acted very worried.  Daddy asked Mommy, but she didn't know why, either.  Once she woke up, though, she knew.

I was in my box lid in the dining room, where I loved to hang out and nap, but whenever anyone else approached the food or the water, I ran to them and beat them up.  Then I ran back to my box lid and lay down again.  Tabby was supposed to go on one of her animal-assisted therapy visits, but I beat her up, too, when she tried to eat breakfast.  She was so upset, she ran and asked Mommy what was going on with me.  Then she wouldn't leave the part of the room I was in, choosing to watch over me even though I wouldn't let her snuggle.

Truth be told, I didn't even recognize the other cats as my family today.  All I knew was they were trying to get my food and my water, so I defended what was mine.  I feel very sad about that, and I hope they know I didn't mean it personally.

Daddy and Mommy discussed what to do, but it was more like when, not what.  Mommy called the vet, Mama Shawnee, and Mama Cai, while Daddy called Mama Erin and texted Debbie and Kimila (friends of ours who loved me).  Once the purrents were ready, Mommy tricked me into the carrier bag and zipped me in.  I tried to get out a few times, and ended up sticking my head out while we went out to the car, but Mommy was holding my head.  I actually did better on the car ride than both Daddy and Mommy thought, but especially better than Daddy thought I'd do.  I kept my pee in my body, which is a big thing for me on car rides, and hardly yelled at all.  My purrents petted me while we traveled.

At the vet's, there were a lot of dogs on one side, but the other side was pretty quiet.  Daddy checked me in while I lay in the carrier on the quiet side on Mommy's lap.  Then Daddy held me for a while in the carrier, too.  He reassured me that none of the doggies would come and get me, and told me none of them were Mixx, the one who lived with us until recently.  Mixx lives somewhere else now; long story, and not ours to tell, but not by anyone's choice.

It was going to be 20 minutes for a room if my purrents wanted to be with me when the vet put me to sleep, or they could take me back right away if we didn't need a room.  Daddy can't deal with being in the room emotionally, too sad for him.  Mommy sometimes does and sometimes doesn't.  She felt that it would be best if it were done as soon as possible, so the vet tech took me back.  At 2:15 pm, I went to the Bridge.  They wrapped me in a thin blanket that had been donated for that purpose and put me into a cardboard box, then taped it up and took my body out to my purrents.  Mommy and Daddy both had been crying, and cried more when they got into the car.

At home, Mommy opened the box and took my body out, after uncovering my head and paws.  Autumn wanted to hop in the box, but no one would let her.  Then she saw me in there, and left the box alone.  Daddy let everyone know what had happened, and he and Mommy petted everyone.  My sister sniffed me, nuzzled my ear, sniffed my paws, and slowly walked over to Daddy.  He told her how sorry he was, but that I wasn't coming back, then she walked over to Mommy to the same response.  She slowly walked back, and conferred with Missy about it.  One by one, everyone came to pay their respects.  Sherbet didn't want to come up to my body, and hissed at Mommy when she went over to him to have him smell her hands, so she didn't push the issue.  Starla was carried over to me, sniffed me, conferred with Tabby, then figured it out and ran to the chair.  Daddy carried the twins in from the other room.  Freya kept thinking that I was just sleeping, and came back many times to check on my, thinking I might wake up.  Mommy got Rori, who took the news badly and bolted back down the hallway.

Daddy dug a hole and buried me by the cedar tree in the backyard, by the roses where Miss Marble is buried.  That's the toughest part emotionally for him:  digging the hole and laying the body to rest, then covering it up.  It's so final.  He and Mommy are going to keep the blanket I was wrapped in and use it in the carrier for the others for vet visits and things like that.  They also have a clay double-paw print that I made for them at the vet's, with my name stamped below my paw prints.

I love you all, purrents, friends, sissy, nieces, nephews, and extended furmily!  I'll wait for you here at the Bridge with the other angels.

Love,

    Carbon Cuddlekins/Fluffikins

P.S.  How appropriate that today's Black Cat Appreciation Day!

Remembering Skylar and Lydia on their Birthday

Today we remember Skylar and Lydia especially, because today is their birthday.  They were Mommy's first kitties, and they were born on October 26, 1999.  Lydia lived until 2008, and Skylar lived until 2010.

They started out being part of the Rich family in Portland, who were neighbors of Mommy.  Skylar would garden with Mommy, eating tomatoes!  Lydia took a while to warm up to Mommy, but she would watch while bird-hunting.  They were inside-outside cats, a bonded pair of littermates, who would cry at the screen door if one of them was inside while the other one was outside.  They loved the Rich family, and considered the kids their people.

When the Richs had to move across the country, they asked Mommy to adopt Skylar and Lydia, because Skylar had already adopted Mommy!  Of course, Mommy said she would.  Mommy became Skylar's person, but it took a while for Lydia to choose Daddy.  At first, Skylar and Lydia lived at Mommy's boss' house, because Mommy was a nanny.  After a few months, and a few escape attempts, Skylar and Lydia were brought over to Daddy's and introduced to (then kittens) Tabby and Carbon.  Immediately, Lydia became the alpha cat of the household, although she gave her brother more leeway than anyone else.  She ruled the household with an iron paw, and could send anyone (including Skylar) flying across the floor with a double-paw slap!

After hiding and making it obvious that she despised the relocations, Lydia made up her mind to choose Daddy as her person because she wanted to help him heal.  He had just had knee surgery and was confined to the couch for most of the time.  One day, while he was sleeping, Lydia climbed up on his side and settled down.  When he woke up, she was staring right into his eyes, telling him that she was here for him and would always be.  From then on, he was her person.

After Lydia died, Skylar was heartbroken.  A few months later, we thought we were going to lose him, too, but then Starla came into his life.  She was a young cat, just over a year old at the time, and very skittish, having come from an abusive and neglectful home.  Skylar adopted her as "his kitten", and the two bonded almost like he had with his sister.

Three days after Skylar died, we adopted the "new" tuxedo twins, Freya and Heimdall, who are now five years old.  They remind us every day of their aunt and uncle, and are a constant joy in all our lives.  We know, absolutely, that our original tuxedo twins sent them to us!

Happy Birthday at the Bridge, dear angels Skylar and Lydia!  We love you and will never forget you!

Skylar's three-year Bridge Day anniversary

It's been three years since Skylar became an angel.  What a lot has changed in that time!  We still miss him every single day, but treasure the memories, especially as we see Heimdall & Freya grow into their adult selves.  When Freya carries her fuzzy socks around the house, meowing to them, we're reminded of Skylar's sister Lydia doing the same thing with yarn puffballs.  When Heimdall snuggles into our arms or gets a funny look on his face and dashes around the house yowling at the top of his lungs, we laugh and remember Skylar doing the same things.

Those years with Skylar grow ever sweeter looking back.  He was the mommy's first kitty, and adopted her before she officially adopted him.  He was almost five years old at the time of his adoption, fully his adult self, but still willing to start his life over with Mommy and Daddy, his littermate, and two small kittens (Tabby and Carbon).  Between that day and the end of his life, he was honorary uncle to many foster kittens, enjoying every minute of playing tails with them and teaching them how to play.  Mommy was his person, but he adopted Mommy Erin as his second person, then Daddy as his third person and (then baby) JJ as his fourth person.  He loved to terrorize his sister Lydia, but she loved putting up with it.  It was a game between the two of them.

Even at the end, old and crochety as he was, he would come over for a snuggle and a proffered lap to sleep in.  He loved being held like a baby.  He never lost his wonderful Siamese yowl, especially when it came to food, and was the official timekeeper of the household.

We love and miss you every day, Skylar.  Thank you for sharing our lives and letting us into yours!

Goodbye, Spooky! We loved you!

Spooky writes:

Yesterday afternoon, I was curled up in the dining room in my favorite spot, when all of a sudden I felt weird.  Something was happening, and not a good something!  Mommy was sleeping, and Daddy was taking a shower, so I ran to Daddy since he was closest.  I skidded to a halt in the hallway just as he came out of the shower, meowed my concern long and loud, then flopped over and started drooling, dripping a small puddle onto my paws and the floor.  Daddy cleaned me and it up, then set me on the couch so I could snuggle with him and Skylar.

Then, it happened again!  My eyes went wide and unseeing, my body went rigid, and I started drooling heavily again!  After it was done, I meowed a complaint and my confusion.

Daddy called for Mommy, who woke up and came out.  They both petted me while they tried to decide what to do.  Daddy called our friend Kellee, who's a vet tech, but she couldn't come until the next day.

About an hour later, I had another seizure.  This time, I was sitting on Mommy's lap when it started.  I looked helplessly at her, then lifted my tail and peed.  I couldn't help it!  Then the wide-eyed seizure, then drooling again, and my confused meowing.  Mommy and Daddy tried to get me to relax afterwards, petting me to calm me down again.  That helped a little, and I took a bit of a nap for a couple hours.

While I was asleep, Mommy searched online for vets that were open on a Saturday evening.  Of course, many were not.  She found one that was, and called them.  It was a 24-hour place, so when I woke up (and had another seizure) she and Daddy packed me into a carrier and drove to the hospital.

The people were so kind!  I had a seizure again as my purrents were filling out the paperwork, and the people immediately took me back and put me on a big table in the open room.  I looked at them and meowed, and one of them went to ask my purrents if they could give me something to help calm me down.  Of course, Daddy said yes, so they gave me Valium.

The vet came out to discuss options with my purrents.  She said that I probably had sustained brain damage from the seizures, and there was a poor prognosis if I survived.  The vet wanted to keep me in for 24 hours at least, give me i.v.'s and do bloodwork. Even then, it would be the same prognosis: not likely to survive, or very brain-damaged if I did survive. Mommy and Daddy said their goodbyes, and Mommy stayed with me and petted my head and cheek as the shot was given. :'( The hospital needs to hold my body until Monday so that the state can release it (standard procedure for anyone who comes in with seizures), so my purrents will bury my body then. The above picture is my picture superimposed on the bag that the vet did for my purrents to take home, containing a bit of my fur and the heart from my catheter wrap.

:'(

Mommy and Daddy loved you, Mr. Spooky kitten! R.I.P. July 2009 -- June 6, 2010

Sad Mini Mancat Monday Night

Rest in peace, tiny Baby-Dot! We loved you.

He died while nursing from the bottle at 8:15 pm tonight (Monday night). We were at my work; I had taken both tiny ones along because I knew they would need to be fed after my two classes. At home, at the same time, Skylar woke up from a nap and came out to Scott; he knew something had happened.

We buried Baby-Dot in the backyard by Lydia and Sara Princess Kitty.

Rest in peace, Baby-Tuxie! We loved you, too.

Baby-Tuxie joined his brother at 1:30 am (Tuesday). I took him out of the box to feed him, and he was having trouble breathing, just like his brother had. Scott held him while he died, and we both let him know we loved him. We buried him by his brother.

Their Catster page is here.

Photo Friday: Pet

Oh, boy! Our whole blog could qualify for this one! This is Mommy with our now-angel-kitty Sara. Sara Kitty lived to be 17 or 18 years old, and was put to sleep in January (old age and dementia). Our family adopted her for the last year of her life, and she was loved and cared for until the end. You can read more about her time with us on her Catster page.

Click here for more Photo Friday posts.