A Gotcha Day anniversary, a Bridge Day anniversary, and a new angel

The PDX pride mama here.  This post is not one that I wanted to ever write.  I'll start with the good thing.  Today is Freya's & Heimdall's 12th Gotcha Day anniversary!  After Skylar went to the Bridge 12 years ago (that was on the 23rd), I was looking at kittens online at Salem Friends of Felines and saw Heimdall's picture.  I showed it to Scott, then he saw that Heimdall had a sister.  We knew then that they had been sent to us by Skylar & Lydia, because they looked so much like them.  Freya & Heimdall were 3 1/2 months old when we got them.

Now, the sad news.  Only Freya is here to celebrate.  Heimdall went to the Bridge on the 23rd, so he now shares a Bridge Day date with Skylar.  In April, Heimdall came down with a really bad double ear infection.  We took him to a vet we hadn't used before (mistake #1) instead of our regular vet because we couldn't get in to our regular vet in a decent amount of time.  The other vet diagnosed his double ear infection, gave us medication (actually four different ones) and we were told that he had a "mass" in his right ear that would continue to grow and had ruptured his eardrum.  Mistake #2, because the "mass" was actually an ear polyp which ended up shrinking back down without damaging the eardrum.  We were told that he would have chronic ear infections, a head tilt, and awkward gait for the rest of his life.

Because of this (mis)diagnosis, we didn't get him rechecked more than once after that initial visit (mistake #3).  He started going downhill fast the last three weeks.  He was very lethargic, had given up, and wasn't interested in food (although he was still eating, just more because he thought he should rather than because he felt he needed to eat).  He shakily climbed up onto the futon to snuggle with his daddy the last couple days of his life.  He wasn't grooming himself at all, even when he fell down in the litter box, since we took him in to that vet in April, and he started to resent me trying to clean him up.  He had litter caked in-between his toes that he didn't take care of, so his daddy and I had to.  We made the appointment to put him to sleep.

At his appointment (with our regular vet), we were told that his eardrums were intact, his ear canals had a lot of debris in them but that the vet could see the eardrums which didn't look damaged at all.  The vet said there were small polyps (probably what the other vet had called a mass) that were not impeding the ear canal at all.  However, because his sinus infection had blown all out of proportion due to being untreated (because we had thought the symptoms were from ruptured eardrums and the mass), his poor body was so weakened that he would've had a long, uphill battle to regain his health.  I made the decision to not put him through that and to put him to sleep instead.  I held him while the vet gave him his shots.  He growled at the vet and stuck his tongue out when the vet put his paws back onto my lap, but then he put his head down on my hand like he loved to do and was gone.

We brought his body back, opened the box, and let the others say their goodbyes.  Freya curled up in the box lid, so we had one dead tuxie twin in one side of the box and one live tuxie twin in the other.  She's kind of lost without him, since they have never been apart since they were littermates.  I had to lift her out of the lid twice so that I could hand the box with Heimdall's body to his daddy.  He buried him by the roses under the cedar tree in the backyard, near where Carbon and Rori are buried.

I just finished writing an e-mail to the other vet, telling them what happened.  So many mistakes on their part and on our part.  We feel so guilty for letting our boy down by not taking him for a second opinion.  We should've done more for him.  He should be here to celebrate today with his sister.

Heimdall with his favorite toy, a fishy potato chip clip

Heimdall Skylar

March 24, 2010 to July 23, 2022

Remembering Carbon on his 1st Bridge Anniversary & Black Cat Appreciation Day

We've all been thinking of you so much these past few days, Carbon, with leaky eyes, fond memories, and many smiles.  How you raced around at top speed while playing, played basketball with your toys and tag with the other cats, and how you would snuggle once a day with each of your purrents.  About the bottlecaps that you stole off the counter as a kitten, your toy hoard under the couch when we moved, and your favorite battle buddy and mousie.  Your battle buddy's still around, as well as the replacement one we got you when your other one got gnawed off the wand part.  How you loved pipe cleaners, as evidenced by the top picture after your Catster Secret Santa gift from Winter.  How you were afraid of kittens until they got old enough for you to consider them the same species!  How you purred while sitting on friends' laps and sat on your stool for bites of whatever Mama Shawnee was cooking.  How you were afraid that Lydia was going to swat you (and she did) when you misbehaved as a kitten, but you realized that she was the alpha cat and loved you anyway.  How you studied things until you figured out how they worked:  automatic litter boxes that you made mountains in and then admired your own handiwork, doorknobs that you opened by yourself, the wall furnace that you body-slammed as a kitten trying to make it stop running like your daddy did.

You were one crazy cat, and we'll always remember you for that.  You were a love, when you allowed yourself to be loved on, and we'll always love you for that.  There are so many stories that will be told for decades!  It's hard to think that it's been a year already since you've been gone.  Tabby still has days when she wanders around lost, remembering you.  Most days are better for her now, but we see the look in her eyes every so often and know you're in her thoughts, as you are for us all.  You were the best black cat in the world, and it's so fitting that Black Cat Appreciation Day is your day.  We love you forever.

Remembering Skylar....

Skylar, there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you and how you lit up our lives.  I dreamt about you, and woke up feeling a presence behind me on the pillow.  No one was there, at least no one living, but I believe you came to visit us so I smiled and said hi to you.

In some ways, it doesn't seem like it could be five years since you left us.  In others, it seems like more than that because our lives have changed so much since then.  Your other mommy, Erin, and your little boy, JJ, are doing fine.  We know you loved them just as much as you loved your daddy and me.  We all tell JJ how you knew he was there before Erin did, and how you used to sit on Erin and purr at him.  I'm so glad that Erin could be with us when we said goodbye to you, hard as that was for all involved, including Dr. C.

You were one special boy, Skylar, and we cherish your memory and the memories of our time with you.  You were so full of life, even at the end when you were so sick.  You kept your word, sending us new twins in the form of Freya & Heimdall, who inherited the same respect from the others as you and Lydia had.  We see your influence in their lives every day, even though you never actually met them.  There's a reason we gave Heimdall your name as his middle name, because his personality matches yours in so many inexplicable ways.  He's sleeping on the computer desk as I'm typing this, dreaming away.

Carbon took over your role in the household when you left, and has become just as much the "bouncer" of the family as you were, keeping peace between the others, although always deferential to Rori, who is still our Big Kitty (alpha).

I'm sure you greeted my mom last year and are taking good care of her, along with the other furries she knew in life.  That gives me some comfort.  I know you're with your beloved sister Lydia, and the others who went to the Bridge.

We miss you so much, dear Skylar, but we're glad to have had the gift of knowing both you and your sister while you lived.  Thank you.

Love,

your mommy Karen.

Miss Marble's 1st Bridge Day Anniversary

Miss Marble writes:

It was one year ago today that I left my earthly family and gained my angel wings.  I know that they still miss me terribly.  I don't know what made me not notice the car coming, or what made me try right then to cross the street, which I normally never did.  You might say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or was I?  Because I left for the Bridge, my sister decided that she could start to come inside.  She thought it was my territory before, so she didn't want to intrude on a place she considered to be only mine.  We shared most territory, but she didn't want to try to come inside while I was alive.  When she came back from her walkabout a couple months after I flew to the Bridge, she immediately decided inside was a good place!  Now she's almost as comfortable inside as I was!

I miss you, sissy Tigress, and I miss all of my inside family, my purrents, and all my friends.  Love to you from the Bridge!

Four years....

Skylar, it's now four years since you left us, and in many ways I still can't believe it. I know you visit us from time to time, along with our other angels, but it seems surreal to think that it's been this long already. Your daddy and I still smile and laugh at how similar Heimdall, the one you found for me, behaves to how you used to behave. Just yesterday, he was trying to mooch cinnamon rolls from your grandma and me after sneaking in somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. Is it any wonder we gave him your name as his middle name?
 Skylar, you came into my life chowing down on a tomato in my garden, and the night before you went to the Bridge you yowled one last time for your yummy food. Thanks for letting me be part of your life and for embracing all of us. No matter how many years it becomes, we never will forget you!

Skylar's three-year Bridge Day anniversary

It's been three years since Skylar became an angel.  What a lot has changed in that time!  We still miss him every single day, but treasure the memories, especially as we see Heimdall & Freya grow into their adult selves.  When Freya carries her fuzzy socks around the house, meowing to them, we're reminded of Skylar's sister Lydia doing the same thing with yarn puffballs.  When Heimdall snuggles into our arms or gets a funny look on his face and dashes around the house yowling at the top of his lungs, we laugh and remember Skylar doing the same things.

Those years with Skylar grow ever sweeter looking back.  He was the mommy's first kitty, and adopted her before she officially adopted him.  He was almost five years old at the time of his adoption, fully his adult self, but still willing to start his life over with Mommy and Daddy, his littermate, and two small kittens (Tabby and Carbon).  Between that day and the end of his life, he was honorary uncle to many foster kittens, enjoying every minute of playing tails with them and teaching them how to play.  Mommy was his person, but he adopted Mommy Erin as his second person, then Daddy as his third person and (then baby) JJ as his fourth person.  He loved to terrorize his sister Lydia, but she loved putting up with it.  It was a game between the two of them.

Even at the end, old and crochety as he was, he would come over for a snuggle and a proffered lap to sleep in.  He loved being held like a baby.  He never lost his wonderful Siamese yowl, especially when it came to food, and was the official timekeeper of the household.

We love and miss you every day, Skylar.  Thank you for sharing our lives and letting us into yours!

Remembering Skylar

Can't believe it's already been two years since our beloved Skylar made his journey to the Bridge.  We know he's watching over us and smiling at us all, especially at the twins he sent us so soon after he left.  He would be very proud of all his family, those who knew him and those who have come to be part of our family after he left.

Thinking of Skylar on his first Bridge Day anniversary

There really are no words that fully express what this last year has been like for our family.  Skylar was the first cat who ever adopted me fully, even before I adopted him.  He was my "heart cat", as one of my friends puts it.  He was everyone's favorite, the one who played with all our foster babies and taught them how to have fun.  His sister was the head of the household, but he was next.  When she passed, the new head of household (Rori) still deferred to him a lot of the time.  That alone tells you how revered he was in this family.

As I think about him today, and grieve once again, I will cry into the fur of one who looks and acts so similar to him that sometimes we have to stop ourselves before we call Heimdall by Skylar's name accidentally.  Heimdall was the name given to the keeper of the Rainbow Bridge in Norse mythology, so it's appropriate that we gave that name to the kitten Skylar sent us, three days after he journeyed.  Heimdall and his sister Freya are signs that Skylar is still watching over us every day, and will continue to watch over us on our earthly journey, waiting for us at Bridge's end.

Thank you to all our friends who have supported us through this past year.  We love you all!

Lydia's Bridge Day Anniversary

Sweet Lady Lydia, today marks two years since you flew away to the Bridge.  I still miss you every day, and I know your dad does, too.  Skylar is with you now, together again just as you were in life, and I know you both are looking down on us.

Freya is sooo much like you, love.  Sometimes, I think Rori thinks Freya's you in miniature.  Sometimes I think we all do.  She could be you come back to us, she's that similar in looks & behavior.  She is learning to snuggle with her daddy just like you did, and Rori is teaching her how to be a lady of the house (when Freya's not chasing Rori wanting her to play, lol).  Freya & Heimdall are bonded and act like you and Skylar, and we're forever grateful for them, knowing that you and your brother had a paw in sending them to us.

We love you so much, Lydia, and will always love you!  We honor and cherish your memory today and always.

Love,

Mom.